How To Make Pores Smaller

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Hordes on the Table Top are a pain in my arse - let's just get that one out in the open. 
 
The only thing more demoralizing than seeing 140 well spread out 
Guardsmen across the table is probably 6 flyers - but only just. 
 
 
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a>I sit there scratching my head thinking, why, why 
would you play such a bland army? There's no awesome heroes of legend in
 there, just a bargain bucket HQ option. There's no awesome squad of 2+ 
elites in there with combi-shittydeathrays - there's just lots of Orks, 
or Cultists or Guardsmen. 
 
After I've got over the lack of character I then think Logistics, Christ
 that's over a hundred models (atleast) that you've had to paint, the 
same thing over and over again. To make things worse you've already 
eroded my will to exist by making me stare vacantly at a wall for an 
hour wishing my life away because that's how long it took you to unpack 
and place (always spread out I might add so I can't pie plate you to 
death) all of those frigging Ork Shoota Boyz. 
 
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL_iPj2ogOla9eTx8Xyt1BN6S1_9rtl5XqIArJ-FQlRHr_89Kfr0s5BhlWMT0d553rlztQ6DkNIuDK-IZqATv5t2czRyXHaBiK1_B1NVfOVuBt3khyphenhyphenrWwMZNXWvUTIiaxdeFH7IIWrbQ6F/s1600/Russia+Horde.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL_iPj2ogOla9eTx8Xyt1BN6S1_9rtl5XqIArJ-FQlRHr_89Kfr0s5BhlWMT0d553rlztQ6DkNIuDK-IZqATv5t2czRyXHaBiK1_B1NVfOVuBt3khyphenhyphenrWwMZNXWvUTIiaxdeFH7IIWrbQ6F/s1600/Russia+Horde.jpg" width="320" /></a>But
 by Turn 3 I already see the appeal, even if I hit and wounded every 
single time with all the boltguns, frag missiles, plasma guns and other 
things in my Space Wolves arsenal, I still couldn't table you - now 
that's a powerful statement. That even with astronomical luck where 
every dice was perfect, you'd still be there annoying the shit outta me. 
 
On paper I mock your 5+ to hit and wound, but then I see your ice cream 
tub full of dice you brought with you and howl in dismay as through 
sheer volume of rolls you whittle down my expensive, fully tooled up 
Grey Hunters pack in a single turn of shooting. That's right, the Grey 
Hunters pack so heavily tooled up for Close Combat they'd give almost 
every other Troops choice out there a good spanking, the same hardened 
veterans that are now raped by your 40 dice overwatch before they even 
lay a chainsword on you. 
 
It's tempting at times to think "actually, this is pretty cool" and why 
wouldn't it be? This is like what we see on the front of our armies 
Codex isn't it? A Chaos Lord stood atop a mountain of bodies raining 
shitty death into hordes of Guardsmen. That is until he gets brought 
down by a Sergeant with a Powerfist - you rarely read about that in the 
Black Library books, Sergeant Sandbag slapping the head off of a 10000 
year old Lord of Chaos. 
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjLmCxMhCd4zVLMv0dxG_WYBzukgXnGrfjzuiVKZJmStfzrWY98h9HqpLuFTWWb-3UzHGkdI9ouhsUwUYRn_qKVMRfwC3n6OOO9tJTxqtQmMtk7xNb0UavcyWJwdIgEcF3q4-wXij2mZx5/s1600/16x-2011-Parade-Squaremain.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjLmCxMhCd4zVLMv0dxG_WYBzukgXnGrfjzuiVKZJmStfzrWY98h9HqpLuFTWWb-3UzHGkdI9ouhsUwUYRn_qKVMRfwC3n6OOO9tJTxqtQmMtk7xNb0UavcyWJwdIgEcF3q4-wXij2mZx5/s1600/16x-2011-Parade-Squaremain.png" width="320" /></a> 
Sure your opponents horde army is slow, they're all on foot after all. 
But they don't need to be fast, they hold the key to most victories - 
Domination of the ground. They start off spread across their whole table
 edge at the start of the game and they can easily plod around absorbing
 missiles and flame templates until they sit on their objective of 
choice and spend the rest of the game jizzing dice everywhere. The only 
way you can hope to defeat them is to spam template weapons of your own 
but in a Tournament setting that means your List is geared for one 
particular army type and will likely get raped against others. 
 
 One things for certain, if you play a Horde army - you probably had to 
make very little changes to your lists from 5th Edition to 6th Edition 
WH40k. 
 
 
So do you play a Horde army? Share with us your weaknesses. Or are you 
particularly good at nailing Hordes but without sacrificing the 
integrity of your army? Then let me know your secrets. What about Hordes
 in other game systems, do they fair as well as they do in 40k? 
 
~ Bayonet

40k Editorial: To Horde or not to Horde?

Hordes on the Table Top are a pain in my arse - let's just get that one out in the open. The only thing more demoralizing than seein...